Moving Forward
Rupi Kaur, a Canadian poet, illustrator, photographer, and author, once wrote, "Never feel guilty for starting over again." This sentiment could not be more appropriate for the team here at Savage Yoga Inc. A year ago this month, I made the very difficult decision to transition away from my first business, a bed and breakfast, into teaching yoga full time. It was one of the most difficult choices I've ever made, but it was also the best decision I've ever made.
I felt immense shame for failing at running my first business, but the reality of the current global crisis was crushing what little remained of our once thriving venture. We continued limping along with the hope that we could recover once things "went back to normal," but the time for normal came and went and we were still here, left holding the bag.
Tired of standing still and waiting for a day that may never come, I decided to take action. Last March, I started transitioning away from my first business and dusted off a project I had begun working on during my very first yoga training. I wanted to have my own yoga space, a place that reflected who I am as a person and a teacher. I found similar spaces in my community, but nothing ever felt just right.
As I set to work building my new business plan, I started to feel guilt creeping in. I kept wondering if I was making a huge mistake and if I should just hold out a little longer. I looked at everything I had built and wondered if I was too quick to abandon it. I also felt another emotion somewhere deep inside. It was here that I finally admitted something to myself that I'd known deep down all along. I was relieved because I hated my first business.
When my partner and I were first dating, we used to stay at kitschy bed and breakfasts for long weekend getaways. We loved the quaint style and feel of a cosy b&b, usually run by a sweet older couple long since retired. We would often discuss opening one of our own as part of our retirement plans. When we moved to New Brunswick and bought our first house together, we were thrilled to discover that the building had been a bed and breakfast. Not wanting to let this opportunity pass us by, I decided to convert the space back into a bed and breakfast.
It was gruelling work, but I finally got the place looking just right and started welcoming guests. I had two years of success and prosperity followed by two years of barely scraping by, but even during the best of times, I heard this quiet voice telling me I wasn't happy. I snuffed it out, not wanting to admit that I didn't like the business I had chosen and continued on in misery.
Choosing to close the chapter on my first business was a big and wonderful decision and one I will never regret. Working on my new business idea, I feel a giddiness that I think one only experiences when they are doing something they truly love. I take Rupi's words to heart, and I believe that you should never feel bad for starting over again and again and again, never letting the guilt of starting over stop you until you get it just right.
