Turning 40 (and Bending My Own Rules)

I have a long-standing personal rule: I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. No “new year, new me.” No dramatic overhauls. No pressure-fueled promises that quietly dissolve by February. And yet, this year, I’m feeling the winds of change.

I’m turning 40 on January 24th, and something about this milestone feels different. Not urgent. Not panicked. Just… intentional.

Having a January birthday is both a blessing and a curse. Any party planning is always contingent on the weather and burnout from the holiday season is very real. I’ve long stated that winter is the worst time to have a birthday. That being said, a January birthday is also handy if you want to set some yearly intentions! January is the start of the new year in the West and is a perfect excuse to try something new!

So, instead of setting resolutions, I’m bending my own rule and trying a little experiment: Accomplishing 40 things before the end of my 40th year.

This challenge is not a self-improvement project, a checklist of productivity, 0r a resolution, rather it is an invitation to live deliberately, gently stretch myself, and stay awake to this year of my life.

Some of the things will be small. Some will feel brave. Some will be playful. Some will be deeply unglamorous. The point isn’t to crush goals—it’s to notice myself living.

Why did I choose 40 things (besides the obvious)? Because 40 doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a widening and a chance to choose curiosity over autopilot.

Feel like following along?

You don’t have to be turning 40 to play along. Here’s the invitation:
Choose 40 things to do between now and this time next year.

No timelines, punishments if you don’t finish, and no moral value attached to completion. Just a year-long container for exploration, pleasure, courage, rest, and presence. You can write your own list or feel free to borrow from the one below.

There is one rule: This is not about fixing yourself; It’s about coming alive!

40 Things You Can Try Before Next Year

Use this as inspiration and not obligation. Pick what fits and skip what doesn’t.

1. Take a class purely for fun

2. Go for a solo coffee or tea date

3. Try a new movement practice

4. Spend a full day offline

5. Read one book slowly

6. Say no without explaining

7. Say yes to something that scares you a little

8. Rest on purpose

9. Write a letter you never send

10. Watch the sunrise or sunset without multitasking

11. Take a nap without guilt

12. Visit a place nearby you’ve never been

13. Cook one meal with real care

14. Move your body without tracking or measuring

15. Try a creative hobby (badly is fine)

16. Ask for help

17. Let yourself be a beginner

18. Book something you’ve been putting off

19. Declutter one small space

20. Spend time with someone who makes you laugh

21. Cry when you need to

22. Celebrate something ordinary

23. Take a deep breath before responding

24. Do one thing just because you want to

25. Write down what you’re proud of

26. Practice saying “this is enough”

27. Spend time in nature

28. Try a restorative or gentle yoga practice

29. Listen to your body instead of overriding it

30. Let yourself change your mind

31. Create a tiny ritual you repeat

32. Let go of one old expectation

33. Take yourself seriously—and lightly

34. Ask a meaningful question

35. Do something nourishing for your nervous system

36. Make space for joy without earning it

37. Reflect on who you’re becoming

38. Choose presence over perfection

39. Mark a moment that matters to you

40. Let this year be lived, not conquered