Holidaze
It's that time of year again! The lights are up; carrols fill the radio stations, and a bunch of colourful boxes sit under a well-lit fir tree. The smell of cookies fills the air while snow falls silently past a window. That's right; it's Spring Break!!! Bad jokes aside, the holidays are upon us, and as a Christmas hater, I am well-versed in holiday survival!
Over the years, I came to terms with my disdain for the holiday season, picking up some valuable tricks and tips to get through Christmas with ease and style. I recognize that many people love this time of year, but even the most dedicated Christmas fan can become a Christmas hater under enough stress. So, hate it or love it, here are a few handy tips that may help you get from crowded shopping malls and stressful commitments to relaxation!
Be gentle with yourself!
This tip is something that I cannot stress enough. If your self-narrative starts to get a little mean around this time of year, you're not alone. Self-denigration is a common occurrence during stressful times, and there is no other season that brings on stress like the holidays. The first step towards being gentle with yourself is acknowledging and noticing the negative voices. Take a moment, check in with yourself, and ask yourself how you are feeling today. If a voice answers with a negative comment, it might be time to start practicing gentleness with yourself. Try a little mantra exercise saying, "I am kind, I am smart, I am strong, and I am brave." Feel free to replace these words with something that resonates with you. If you struggle to find kind words to say to yourself, think of someone you love or respect and think about the words you would use to describe them. Pick the word that sounds best and repeat it in your head. Come back to this word throughout the day. Every time you pause, think of the word and see how you feel at the end of your day. It's also important to notice how your body feels. Ask yourself three important questions: When did I last eat something? How much water/liquid have I consumed today? How much sleep did I get? If you answer "10 hours ago, why do you ask? Does six cups of coffee count? Sleep is for the weak!" It may be time to practice some self-compassion.
Self-care snacks!
Self-care is one of those buzzwords that gets a lot of negative press. It's a trend exploding all over social media, and the message can get a little watered down. The truth is that self-care looks different for everyone and that there is no right or wrong way to practice it. Some people see self-care as an opportunity to pamper themselves, while others think of self-care as remembering to take medication for their mental health. Both are valid and have their place. A bubble bath is always an excellent option for nights when we have loads of time, but what do we do when we only have 5 minutes to spare? My go-to is breathing. Shocker that the Yoga Therapist chooses breathing as their self-care tool, but it works! Wherever you are, take three deep breaths and then note how you feel. You can try it right now! Music is another excellent self-care tool; with today's smartphones, it's never been easier to put on a song. If you're at home alone, crank up your favourite tune. If you're in the car, put on a soothing playlist. If music isn't your thing, read a few pages from a book you enjoy, or better yet, write down how you feel. Text a friend or loved one you haven't seen in a while. You may even make someone else's day in the process. The point is there are many things we can do with some spare time, and this list is not comprehensive, so feel free to pause and think of a few things you can do within 5 minutes.
Boundaries!
Boundaries are vital any time of year but especially around Christmas time. Saying no to your aunt Heather's Christmas party because you cannot stand your racist uncle Joe is a valid response. Likewise, saying no to your cousin Darius's Christmas get-together is okay because you have too many social commitments booked, even if you love him. The same goes for situations where your body becomes a topic of conversation at a family gathering. If your mom criticizes your portions at Christmas dinner, you can tell her to stop. You reserve the right to tell people to stop commenting on your body or to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. I am seeing more and more of this lately, both through social media and in my own life.
Boundaries are fundamental parts of good mental health. With that said, they are NOT easy to reinforce. I strengthen my boundaries almost every day, which can be taxing after a while. The best advice I heard around boundaries is to start small. Pick one small boundary that you can reinforce with someone you trust and enforce it. For instance, say your partner wants you to accompany them to a work Christmas party, but you do not know anyone. Let your partner know how you are feeling. You could tell them that you will skip it this year or arrive in different vehicles so that you can leave if you feel overwhelmed. Regardless of the reason, remember that boundaries are healthy and all about communication. Communicate your needs firmly, know that you can set a boundary whenever you need one, and you may feel more comfortable knowing they are there.
I hope you come away from this post with something helpful to use during the holiday season and beyond! Remember, you deserve to rest this holiday season, so take some time for yourself and remember to spread kindness both inside and out!
